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sexta-feira, 12 de outubro de 2012

Eu me apaixonei por uma pintura e escrevi uma poesia sobre isso

No meu último trabalho de inglês, precisei adotar um pintor e realizar uma análise de sua arte. Eu escrevi uma poesia. Eu a li diante de toda turma. Eu tive vontade sair correndo e chorar num cantinho. Primeiramente, ler uma criação minha é o equivalente em deitar nua numa maca com o peito aberto e os órgãos expostos, permitindo que todos assistam da galeria. E, em segundo lugar, minha voz não é digna das palavras. Eu aprendi a selar os lábios e a falar com os dedos, não o inverso.
Eu me senti aterrorizada e envergonhada. Depois, senti uma sensação libertadora. Agora estou triste pela falta de amor - tanto próprio quanto alheio - e por ver o quanto ainda sou limitada. Mas acredito que se eles puderam ouvi-la dos meus lábios, vocês, ao menos, podem lê-la aqui. Vocês merecem mais. As palavras merecem mais do que minha língua fez delas. Afinal, não é uma poesia ruim.

***


A Study in Hygieia

The old gods are dead,
Or, maybe, they are just asleep
Prisoners in crazy and cruel dreams,
Damaged by the interminable wait.
The poetry is the dream of the gods
And my words are the nightmares of Hygieia,
who stirs uneasy in her red sheets.
Love her is not the wisest choice to make,
But I am not the wisest of all beings.
Deep in my heart, I know
That she will take me by a long corridor
To meet with the healer.
And, once there, he will take my soul
And put it in her hands,
Where my heart already lies.
She used to heal the diseased
And soothe the pain of those who suffer.
But the power corrupted her and
The lack of faith of the men inflamed her soul
And woke the insatiable hunger for love
That is characteristic of all gods.
More vain than Aphrodite
And fiercer than Ares.
She likes to make them all fall to their knees
With declarations of love pouring from their lips.
Fools are those who don't satisfy her desires,
Because she carries the sanity of all in her hands
And she needs just to squeeze them into fists
To make all of them lose their minds.
More fools are those who fall in love with her
And what a big fool I am!
I would gratefully drink from her chalice
And I would gladly accept the madness.
With a mystic smile on her red lips,
She makes you sell your soul
Deliver your heart,
Resign from reality
And go mad smiling.
But the truth is that the old gods sleep
And my goddess dreams of love and madness,
Desire and disease,
Blood and guts.
And I, her eternal slave,
Write, just write
And question: is curse or salvation
The madness she offer to those who love her?
Because the reality is gray and the sanity is tedious,
And maybe we only go mad because she loves us back
And wants to save us from this world.
After all, love is a kind of madness.
Or maybe go mad is our curse
because we can never love her enough.
But what I know about the plans of the gods?
They sleep and dream poetry,
I just write it down and go crazy.


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